Jay Tomador is under the influence of booze when he tried to sketch me the Makati map yesterday using MS Paint. How screwed-looking I was looking for HV Dela Costa, you at least have an idea. *HotCompany wants me to take their employment exam (where Jay Toma also works).
It’s 8:30 in the morning and I am sitting on the comfortable couch with a bunch of BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) applicants ready to sign their contracts. I was in my jackass mode so I don’t really want to engage in any topic aside from Jessica Alba’s one piece bikini.
BPO Guy1: You’re also for the signing?
Me: No. I am here to do autograph signing.
BPO Guy1: (laughs) Seriously?
Me: Op kors not. I am applying.
BPO Guy1: For what?
Me: As a Software guy.
BPO Guy1: You mean software engineer. Assshhhteeg! I also want to apply to that kind of position. Unfortunately, they offered me a different one. So where you from?
Me: I am from Timbuktu.
(silence)
Me: I am kidding. I am from Titijuana, the land of weeds and drug-laced burgers.
BPO Guy1: Where is that?
Me: (I wanted to answer planet Earth). It’s so so far away, my butt is sticking sore.
BPO Guy1: How many hours ride?
Me: 12 hours. Plus 2 hours riding a carabao, half hour cleaning carabao sheet in your shoes and one hour passing by the river.
(Now this is the part where I get more bratito)
BPO Guy1: No shit!Me: Yes shit. You know what, I came from this tribe they call the bird talkers because we sound like those crazy birds chirping in the Blairwitch Project (1999). And when we get tantrums like we don’t want to be talking to people, we cut their ears and bring them home. What do you think?
The guy gave me a jaw-dropped look. The conversation ends and the poor guy walks out. Har! Har! But in all fairness to the BPO folks, they were very good, and polite and I’m not just into PR mode. It’s just that my butt is sticking sore and every word I utter, some nerves in my butt (I don’t know how they’re connected) are stretched and it’s a pain.
